Genital Diabetes

Yesterday, Greg and I took the day off from work with the main goal of going in for my gestational diabetes test. The morning started out SPECTACULARLY with us scrambling around the house trying to locate the prescription for the test so that Quest Diagnostics would actually administer the darned thing.

I know for a fact that after my last doctor's appointment, I handed the prescription to Greg saying, "Here, you're in charge of this. I can't be trusted." And then Greg claims he put it right back in my hand and said, "Put it in your purse, and we'll know where it is."

Suffice to say, Greg emptied my purse and it was not present.

I desperately called my doctor's office and asked if they could fax the prescription for my Genital Diabetes test to the Quest diagnostics before my appointment in 15 minutes. Yes. I said Genital Diabetes. That is how flustered and panicked I was. I didn't even realize that that's what I was demanding a prescription for until 5 minutes AFTER I got off the phone. It doesn't matter anyway, the lady on the phone said that it would take at LEAST an hour to locate my file, go through channels, get a prescription and fax it over. I got off the phone feeling even more despair which was then nicely seasoned with "I am an idiot" sauce as a result of the Genital Diabetes comments.

With 2 minutes to go before we needed to be there for the appointment, I decided to comb through my purse and LO AND BEHOLD - I located the little prescription which was folded neatly and nestled in my wallet. Greg didn't actually open any of the items in my purse, he just assumed it would be floating around in my purse. We were both very grumpy.

Then we went to the wrong Quest Diagnostics because Greg had made a fancy internet appointment and had ASSUMED he made it at the place closest to us - which is now, by the way, closed for good. So after running from the parking lot to the closed office, and back to the car in the pouring rain, we were finally on our way to the correct location.

The good news is that the Quest place we were supposed to be at was way nicer than the one I'd originally thought I'd have to spend an hour in. Hardwood floor, nice chairs, no funny smells - Great!

They made me drink a small soda bottle of what was decidedly NOT orange creamsicle flavoring, but rather was more like liquid orange sugar crack. It left me feeling a touch queasy as I walked back out to the waiting room with my book.

I thought that this would be a piece of cake, right? The hard part is finding out the results. I can sit on my ass for an hour and metabolize. No big deal right?

The nice lady at quest warned me not to move around too much because it could affect the test results.

Good thing she warned me because within 10 minutes all I wanted to do was run up and down the room SCREAMING.

I had enormous amounts of energy combined with nausea, an inability to burp, and a rising temperature. Suddenly the room was a SUPER HOT SAUNA. I started sweating. Then my vision started getting sparkly with white and blue spots. I decided a trip to the bathroom would help. Once there I stripped as close to naked as possible and put my head between my legs. I spent several minutes fantasizing about laying on the cold tile floor and then did three jumping jacks. The awful nausea/crazy feeling didn't go away for a LONG while. It lasted almost the entire hour. I was just starting to be able to focus on reading my book when they called me in to take the blood sample. I admitted that I'd been through a pretty intense sugar rush, and the nice lady was sympathetic and then told me that I'd likely start crashing soon.

By the time Greg got me home I was FREEZING COLD and exhausted.

He wrapped me up in 3 blankets and a sweatshirt and laid me on the couch.

After I was mostly recovered we spent the rest of the day running errands, eating at IHOP, and talking to plumbers about the HORROR that is our plumbing. I mostly stayed away while Greg and the plumber wandered through our kitchen, bathroom, and basement. Greg laughed. Alot. It was that if-I-don't-laugh-I'm-going-to-cry laughter. The good news is that our first estimate for plumbing work we wanted done is approximately our budget for plumbing, if not a touch lower! The bad news is that there are 3 or 4 other issues that are LOOMING and may or may not be a problem in the near future and we may or may not want to take care of them now.... Which would probably cost us several thousands of dollars more than what we want to spend.

We're getting a second opinion.

I find out today sometime if I passed or failed the glucose test. If I failed, I have to go in for a three-hour test that is, apparently, WAY LESS PLEASANT then that first test.

Yippee.