I haven't written because I'm not sure what to say. Aside from juggling the multitude of tasks in our house and trying to manage my personal-freak-out-levels so that I'm not just letting the nesting get out of control, I've spent my time envisioning the little boy I'm going to be getting to know pretty well over the next 18 years.
At first, it was a struggle. My mind was completely blank when I tried to insert the BOY part into the FUTURE CHILD scenario. It was so easy to see Greg cooing over a baby girl or dancing with her to music or reading, cuddled up in bed. Slowly, and with effort, I've started to see that there are beautiful things like that to be experienced with my son as well. In a moment of sadness (in an attempt to see me smile), Greg foolishly conceded that our son can be a Giants fan rather than an Eagles fan. I'll take it.
I can see our baby boy flying stunt kites with his father on the beach. I can see us cuddled on the couch, playing video games like Mario Galaxy. I can see my son falling utterly and completely in love with Dexter - who is so obviously ready to fall in love with a little boy.
In another effort to get my mind on track, Greg took me to Carter's where I very carefully, and consciously, avoided the girl section and focused on the little boy clothes that I'd been ignoring. While we ended up buying several adorable onesies (Mommy's little Monster to name one), my favorite are the 6 month size jean overalls. They're so very cute.
Also, it's not as though this little one gives me space in which to sort out my thoughts without reminding me he's serious about this whole coming into the world thing. Ever since the ultrasound technician jostled my stomach, poking me with the wand a bunch of times to get him to change positions so she could get a better measurement for something - He has not stopped moving.
He tumbles, he somersaults, he practices the fetal version of jujitsu, he stretches and he jumps. There is not an hour that goes by without some kind of earthquake like movement. At one point, he definitely figured out where my bladder was. These days, he's starting to explore my other internal organs - perhaps to figure out which one is the most entertaining to squeeze?
Greg has felt the movement on only a couple of occasions, although if I mention that there's action - he doesn't fail to patiently press his hand on my stomach and wait.
The baby is particularly active during Earth Wind and Fire's "Shining Star". He's not quite as into Michael Jackson (though we'll work on that), though he did get a big kick out of the last minute of the Riverdance Finale.
I promise I have not forgotten about the fabric I asked you all to find - and let me tell you, I was very impressed with the response. I spent hours and hours and hours searching for it myself - and can I just say FRUSTRATING. VERY FRUSTRATING. If there are no further results in the next couple of weeks, I will still be awarding something to the person who made the most progress: Lauren. For although I was unable to acquire this perfect fabric for the nursery, it helped me to dream it up. What I ended up doing was ordering 6 table clothes from Bed Bath and Beyond with curtains in mind, so we'll see if that works out when they get here... I'll take pictures.
Now it's time to get ready for a visit from my parents so it's back to the vacuuming and the dusting and the sanitizing.
I hope your life is magical as Spring is truly sprung.
3 comments:
Hi Meagan,
I first started reading your blog after I found some images of the beautiful rainbow patchwork skirt you made, and I enjoy reading your updates.
I am happy for you and your husband that you will soon have a little boy. However, something concerns me. I realize that you were dreaming of a little girl for a long while and making pair upon pair of baby booties for her to wear and that this is a big mental shift that you've found the baby will be a boy.
I think at this point it's important to remember to be happy that you can have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, no matter what the sex of the child. Some people are not so lucky to be able to have the children they want. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I myself have been experiencing severe gynecological problems that may leave me unable to have children, and I just wanted to remind you to be thankful for the miracle of being able to have a baby. Please remember that there is really nothing to be sad about here -- perhaps you can look at it as an opportunity to dream about new adventures for the son you haven't gotten to think much about before now.
Cute baby!!
I read this on a forum the other day and your post made me think of it. The poster found out she was pregnant with a boy, and was feeling disappointed. She asked "Those of you with sons, tell me what to expect."
And someone replied with:
"Expect to be blown away. You'll get lots of hugs and lots of love. Pictures from school that he's drawn of you, and no matter how many people are in the picture, you'll be the smartest and the prettiest, and it will be obvious that you are always the first person he draws. He'll have soccer games and baseball games and football games, and you'll be sitting in the stands, bursting with pride. He'll pick you dandelions for mother's day, and he'll tell everyone he knows how cool you are when you clothes-pin a playing card to his bike tire so it makes noise.
There are a bajillion wonderful things to expect....the bond between a mother and her son is a strong and special one, and all of the things you're unsure of right now are things you'll love when you meet him."
:)
Gender disappointment is completely normal, and pretty common too (I'm sure you already know this... just sayin'). Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your feelings. x
Congratulations!! As a mother of 3 boys(and 1 girl) I know exactly how hard it is to put away your visions of pink. My youngest 2 are twins and at the 16 week u/s I found out one was a boy. I had to wait 4 long weeks to find out the gender of the other. I was sure it was a girl. I thought of countless cute twin names for mixed genders. I was almost shocked when I found out it was a boy.
As the previous person posted, the bond between a mother and son is an extremely precious thing. I grew up with only a sister and was utterly terrified of having a boy. And I have been blessed beyond measure by all 3 of them.
The moment they lay your baby in your arms, the rest of the world becomes completely meaningless. This little life that you have been wondering and dreaming of becomes real. And even though sometimes our dreams and visions for our children have to change as they grow, we will always have a special place in their life as their mother.
Was going to say more, but I my name is being called!!!
Congratulations again!
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