This morning I woke up early - around 5:00 a.m. - and was pissed at Greg. You see, he had opened my lunch salad and found a half crushed slug on the side of the Tupperware container and intended to merely wipe out the slime rather than make a new salad entirely. And you can't just wipe out a slug - gosh, I feel nauseated just typing this - you HAVE to make a new salad. He was just being lazy and mean.
And asleep.
Part of me intrinsically knew that the nonsense dancing around my head was just that - nonsense. Part of me knew that we were in bed, he was still asleep, I was barely awake, and there had been no salad Tupperware openings.
I contained the crazy enough that I didn't shake him awake and demand he go make me a new salad, but I was very bitter that he'd even consider giving me a slug-y salad, so I did sluggishly kick him till he stirred, and then I got comfortable and fell asleep again.
Greg's come to accept that I hallucinate in the mornings sometimes. Like the time I woke him up and demanded that he take the table away from the fire. Or the time I yelled at him for bringing an inch worm into bed as a gift - I mean first of all, who gives inch worms as gifts? And second of all, why would you EVER bring an inch worm into bed? Bed is not the place for inch worms.
Greg says that the only way to get me to calm down is to agree with me and tell me he'll take care of it. He says I'm very bossy. Pshh.
Our sleep dreams are very, very different. If he flies in his dreams, it's in a plane. If I fly, it's soaring through the air solo, baby. His most common activity in his dreams is driving. My most common activity in my dreams is probably best defined as "Kicking Ass".
All of my dreams are extremely vivid and detailed - and intense. I've battled zombies, I've established new settlements, I've been a Russian spy against vampires, I've been a turtle running away from a T. Rex, and I've rescued people by flying them away. On Monday night I had a very intense, cinema-like dream wherein I was a young 18th century countess come to visit a country court full of dowdy old courtiers who pretended to bask in the glory of the "old days". I was accompanied by my childhood friend, a peasant - A young man of no more than 16. I was immediately spurned by the Duke who ruled this eccentric court, but he doted on my friend. I grew jealous of my friend, and we fought. I won't go into details because the rest was pretty much R rated - suffice to say that there was high drama and a detailed timeline of intrigue and vileness. Eventually I came to know the Duke for who he really was - a paragon of lechery, sadism, and pedophilia who had already begun to victimize my friend. My attempt at confrontation with the Duke failed, and my attempt at persuading my friend to forsake the Duke's lavish gifts and secret abusive attentions were for naught because of the tensions between us and the lack of trust - he thought I was jealous of the gifts. My dream ended when, with good intentions, I sent my guard out to rescue my friend, and instead of attacking the Duke, the guard - blinded by pepper thrown by the Duke - wounded my friend, guaranteeing that the Duke would merely sate his Evilness and then blame my friend's resulting death on my guard.
And I woke up.
In the moments after waking up, I could have told you ANY details you wanted to know - eye colors, shoe styles, weather, temperature, castle lay out, etc.
I once had a dream that I told to Greg and then forgot completely over the course of the day, but it was so terrible and had upset me so much ( To tears - I remembered being upset when I woke up, but I couldn't remember the dream), that he wouldn't tell me what I'd told him. To this day he still won't tell me what I dreamed then.
And even though I experience these upsetting dreams, I wish everyone could dream with this vividness and remember flying, or travelling to new worlds, or fortifying a shack in the woods against zombies while finding dimensional portals in the walls. Sometimes I even live through being pregnant and giving birth and holding my baby - And I get to live through adventures like that almost every night. It's pretty fantastic. Do you dream and remember?
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Not so much for me. I dream when I am stressed, crazy nonsense mostly.
I met this actor/artist in CA. He wrote a book about his life experiences which were tragic.
You might be interested in this, He sends an e-mail news letter, this is actually from March '08:
On a late summer evening in 2001 I lay in our apartment bed in Hollywood, with Doug and our sleeping dogs. I had trained myself to lucid-dream at bedtime, meaning that when I closed my eyes I could see a myriad of disjointed symbols parading past my eyes. Though my eyes were closed keep in mind that I was fully awake, and lay on my back.
Science says that the brain files the day away in symbols, not words, not pictures we'd recognize, so for years I trained myself to see these fascinating symbols form and dissolve into others. It was mind-boggling stuff. For example, maybe a tomato would be a spinning top and inside a kite would appear and the kite would light up and dance and then an elephants foot would be upside down and then striped in pinks and then a bicycle made of aluminum foil would be in the right corner of my (closed eyes) view, then turn into a cane. These did not happen on a flat screen, per se, but were coming from all directions, at once sometimes. These symbolic images are examples of how the brain processes and files the day's events. I don't remember the symbols I saw that particular night, or any other night, because they are so instantaneous and multifaceted. It would be like trying to recall the patterns of a kaleidoscope.
Years before when I began to lucid-dream I tried to analyze what these symbols meant but I couldn't keep up with their speed, and I stopped trying to figure out the meaning because a scientific book I read explained these messages were impossible to decipher with the conscious mind. But this was the most fun part of the day for me; like watching a bizarre, unpredictable movie while I was fully awake. After about 15 minutes of this I would typically fall asleep and then I assume the symbols would continue as I entered a stage of sleep.
But this night, after only a minute into this fascinating parade of symbols they came to an abrupt halt. This never happened. Usually symbols layered on top of each other as time progressed - they had never ever stopped in ten years of me doing this. I saw nothing - blackness - only blackness and stillness - which by its stagnancy meant that the lucid dreaming was over with. I was still totally awake with my eyes closed. Then I saw something so horrible flash in front of my face - so horrible that I remember needing to forget what I saw immediately. I only remember trying to forget it - and I did forget it. This too, was uncharted behavior for me as I had never tried so hard to forget anything. Forgetting wasn't in my nature. I still have no idea what it was that I saw but I was more awake than ever, as I was stunned and confused why the lucid-dreaming had stopped, and still frightened of something I had seen, with no recollection of what it was. My body tensed and I kept my eyes closed. I waited for more symbols but none came. The lucid dreaming was indeed over. Something strange had interrupted this. Something dark. Something horrible.
I just saw nothing - darkness - emptiness. Then slowly an image emerged and it was like I was in the sky looking down at a long curved tunnel, and I could 'feel' that from the bottom of this long, long tunnel there was an intense 'hurting.' I didn't understand. Nothing like this had ever happened before. But, curious, I lay still, waiting for an explanation. I felt the heavy hurt emanating out of the long curved, mile-high, tunnel. Then suddenly, from the corner of my (closed) eyes, I saw a couple smears of light flying into the tunnel. Then a few more light smears dove in at top speed, projecting so much love and concern that it gave me goose bumps. I have no idea where these lights came from - I just saw these little beings dash past me, and downward. But the hurt at the tunnel bottom was still aching and soon more flying smears of light flew in, along with their great concern. In another minute there were dozens and then hundreds of these entities blurring past my eyes! The love they carried relaxed my whole body! But the guttural pain in the tunnel still existed which I felt in my stomach and my forehead. In a few seconds THOUSANDS of tiny smears of light dove into this tunnel. THOUSANDS! The number shocked me so much I threw open my eyes and I blurted, frightened, "Armageddon!" I was not religious but that word shot out of me, as I felt thousands of people were dying.
Unfortunately, Doug was asleep and didn't hear me. I lay awake for hours, perplexed. What had just happened to me? It wasn't a dream! I was fully awake!
In the morning Doug awoke me to tell me to come downstairs and see the TV. A plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. By the time I got downstairs another plane had crashed into the other tower and we all know that the twin towers eventually imploded to the ground, killing thousands of people.
Wow. I was shown the night prior that these thousands of people who were dying right now in front of me on TV were going to be met immediately by thousands of individual caring light smears (spirit guides?)! Was this proof of life after death? Was this proof they did not suffer long? The tall towers resembled the curved long tunnel I saw, because I was seeing it from above.
What was I supposed to do with this message? I told my friends and family and the waitresses at Canters that day because I was working there then as a waiter. I think they all believed me but wondered what it was that I needed to forget seeing. I felt compelled to put this supernatural occurrence into my memoirs FORGIVING TROY but my friends convinced me that strangers would not believe me. So I kept it out.
But it nags at me. Why did this happen? Wasn't I intended to share it?
Since I was a little boy I have asked God to let me help people, but having my own personal agenda and pleasure-seeking ways, I was careful to sneak in the disclaimer, "At no cost to myself." :)
Everyday I have asked spirit guides, that I have never seen, to be of assistance to me and particular friends needing help.
I think that this is the reason I had this vision: because I never doubted spirits, or life-after-death. And the fact that I had this vision the night BEFORE 9/11 is proof that I had not created this in my imagination. I experienced a premonition of the loving smears of light helping the thousands of dying people the night BEFORE the planes hit the towers.
Why?
I never had a vision like this before or after so it stands to reason I have felt a deep need to share this. I have always felt that the people who lost loved ones in 9/11 would be helped by this vision.
Do you have a spiritual account that you have experienced that you have kept inside you and really need to share it, feeling it can help others? Do you have any evidence to corroborate it for skeptics? Please write me back and let's talk about your story being a chapter in my new book; a book about spiritual happenings that you and I need to release from our hearts and share with strangers.
This is a book I will probably self-publish so there won't be any payment, but if I do get enough accounts to compile a book and I self-publish, a portion will go to charity.
Thom Bierdz
http://www.thombierdz.com
FORGIVING TROY
Winner of three national book awards.
This is me, this is how I dream. Not only am I so intense in my dreams where I am a spy, trying to save the world, I wake up TIRED. EXHAUSTED. And then over the day I forgot things. So glad to know it's not just me.
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