The Crazy...

... has temporarily subsided. I am left in its wake with a nagging feeling that I was the asshole who forgot her keys and Greg is a saint for embracing the role of sacrificial goat so wholeheartedly.

Spring is almost here. There are still snow piles on the ground, but the smell of rain is pervasive and there's a whisper of the possibility of thunderstorms tonight. The coming of spring brings with it an itchiness. I'm not speaking of allergies - I'm speaking of the urge to "Nest".

I seem to be at an intellectual impasse because on the one hand, I am incapable of doing what needs to be done, and on the other - EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

The porch needs to be power washed. The front door needs to be painted. The back yard needs a burgeoning garden. The Living room needs to be baby proofed. The Dining room is completely overtaken with boxes from the attic which needs to be overhauled. We need to FINISH PAINTING the stupid hallway. The hallway needs a shoe rack. And a new welcome mat (inside and outside). Don't even get me started on the kitchen - a project that requires the ENTIRE REMOVAL of walls, ceiling, floor and a window!!

And that's just the first floor.

My closet needs a thorough smack down. My shoes need to be culled. My craftroom - Neglected for MONTHS - needs a serious overhaul wherein I should force myself to give away a number of little crafts that seemed brilliant at the moment of creation and now just take up space! My youngest nephew turned one in the midst of my severe morning sickness/pneumonia and I haven't yet made his birthday present. The bathroom needs touch up work on wall paint and grout in addition to a thorough culling of whatever it has managed to stash behind cabinet doors in the way of tiny shampoo bottles and moisturizers that I will never use.

The nursery needs a floor and it'd be nice if those infant-sized wall holes disappeared sometime soon. The door needs to be painted, the ceiling fan needs to be installed. Then I'll need to get my act together and actually paint that mural I decided upon the WEEK I got pregnant.

By the way - I AM having a sort of buyer's remorse. As cute as it sounds in theory, the whole nursery color/theme scheme I have going on doesn't do anything to satisfy my love of pink, glitter, or poofiness (IF it's a girl).

And yet - with all this potential work on my plate - I'm not permitted to lift anything heavier than a cat and my time to work in evenings has been severely reduced by my new bedtime of 8:30 p.m. The majority of my evening time are taken up with saying "I need to eat something" and the actual act of eating. It's exhausting. I drag myself up to the bed and am asleep before 9:00 p.m. most nights. And yet I've lost a little MORE weight.

The only thing I can do at this point is to tackle the insane pile of baby booties that are waiting to be sewn up. And, as my mother pointed out, I've cut out more pairs than there will be days in life of my infant wherein she will FIT in said footwear.

And goodness knows I fully expect that motherhood will so completely exhaust me, I'll feel accomplished just making it through another barefoot-baby day.

SO, I would like to share a detailed plan of what exactly I'll be doing in the nursery. But I'm not going to. Because I'm tired. And I need to go eat something.