Get crazy with the cheese wiz

So, I've always been sort of repelled by memes. I usually won't read them. However, lately there has been a baby boom of Memes on Facebook -- namely 25 random things about me. My mother-in-law has even participated. Uncles, aunts, uncles-in-law, aunts-in-law, friends from high school, friends from college.... I can't seem to get away from the 25 random things lists. So I broke down the other day and read them all and since I've been tagged a bunch, I started to compile my own and then I chickened out. My 25 things weren't perky and happy like the others (I text wayy too much!!), some of them were turning out to be way too personal (I remember being a bully for one day to a girl who was younger than me on the bus home from elementary school in 3rd grade - I was really mean and I don't remember why, it was very uncharacteristic of me but I couldn't stop. I think I made her cry. The teacher talked to me about it the next day and I couldn't explain myself. I will feel horrible about this forever). So, I reluctantly abandoned my "25 things" and called it a day.

Last night my husband and I butted heads over our usual nonsense. Except it wasn't just our usual nonsense, and I ended up breaking out of my protective little shell and saying things that really needed to be said. We came to the conclusion that we've both relinquished as much responsibility as possible in our lives. And we came to the conclusion that we're not happier for it. We don't hold each other accountable for the cleanliness of the house, the state of the laundry, or our eating habits - we let things fall where they may (including dust, socks, craft supplies and kitty fur) and shrug our shoulders. I don't nag about the kitchen, Greg does all the work. Greg doesn't nag about the donut I'm craving, I don't get upset about feeling restricted. Everything's easier, and nothing's as nice. We spend a lot of time together, but hardly any of it is real quality. We need to start holding each other responsible for things in the house - he can't just ignore his tools and crap on the ground, and I can't just sit and blissfully craft for hours while he cooks and cleans. And right after I finished my enlightening diatribe - clearly explaining the whole accountability thing - he suggested I open the mail I've been ignoring for a while and come help in the kitchen, which is exactly how we should be. I started crying. What idiot sabbatoges a situation in which they get to do whatever they want whenever they want without doing any chores at all? This guy. It's been a particularly stressful week at work, I'd finally gotten this whole thing off my chest, we will start holding each other accountable for everything - but does it have to start this minute?

Aren't you glad you aren't married to me?

I just read dooce.com and she's posted a bunch of answers to a bunch of questions about her husband. They're pretty interesting, and my husband's pretty important to me, so what the hey - I'll try this one. I don't know why I'm so much more amenable to writing about someone else than writing about myself - I mean I have a blog for goodness sakes. He deserves some attention, and he deserves some kudos for dealing with someone who's insane on a daily basis.

What are your middle names?
My current middle name is "Conway", though it used to be "Gebhard". My husband's middle name is Kyle. Interestingly, his family has this first-born-son naming thing, wherein the first born male of the family gives their first born son the middle name of their younger brother (that wasn't confusing was it?). So Greg's older brother's middle name is "Douglas" which is Greg's father's younger brother's first name. Our oldest nephew's middle name is "Gregory". I think it's kind of cool. Confusing. But cool.

How long have you been together?
We've been married for 2 3/4 years. We've been together for about 4.5 years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I saw Greg across the choir room at the beginning of our freshman year in college. I noticed him because there was a small harem of girls (he hates it when I describe it like this) who had decorated his chair with balloons and had gifts and party hats. They flirtily giggled when he came in and I thought to myself "Man... wow. He's not worth all that."

Then we were the only two freshman who got into the a cappella groups - he got into the Chorduroys (all-male), and I got into Cadence (all-female). He walked me home from a party at the end of freshman year and we became good friends starting in early sophomore year. We didn't start dating till beginning of Junior year.

Who asked whom out?
This one is complex. Pretty soon after we became friends sophomore year, I knew I liked him. I am also a very impatient person. I told him pretty early on that I had a serious crush on him. Unfortunately, he'd just gotten out of a long term relationship and was taking things slow. We flirted and spent a lot of time together, but nothing happened beyond me sneaking into holding his hand a few times during movies. He left to spend a semester in Belgium for the second half of sophomore year, and I decided to wait for him. We went 9 months without seeing each other and staying in touch was almost impossible. When we got to school Junior year we happened to be living 2 doors down from each other and he paid me a lot of attention. He helped hang my curtains and set up my book shelves. He soon offerred to study "french" with me. We were in different French classes, so I though it was code for something. It wasn't. He brought his French book and we read French.

When I thought it was never going to happen, he walked me home from a party and was standing at my door saying good night when he slowly closed the distance and kissed me.

Then he called my boobs a "Can of Worms", and that's all I remember from that night. We've been together ever since.

How old are each of you?
I'm 24 and he's 25. I like that he's a year older.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Greg's the youngest of two, I'm the oldest of two. We see his brother's family more often than we see my brother. My brother's still in college about 8 hours away, his brother is only 4 hours away and he has an awesome wife and 3 beautiful sons - we visit when we can.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Telling each other what we want. We're pretty good with money. We've lived through tragedy. We've compromised about almost everything in our lives. We are terrible at telling each other what we want. I'm terrible at telling Greg when I want attention or affection. Greg's terrible at telling me when he needs help. If we could just say these things to each other - we'd be so much better off... but as is, we bottle up our insecurities or disappointments for as long as possible till we break down or explode. :(

Did you go to the same school?
For college? Yes, we did. Our high school experiences were vastly different though. I went to a NJ public school. Greg went to a private Mennonite high school.

Are you from the same home town?
No. Greg's from Lancaster, PA. I'm from Northern NJ.

Who is smarter?
It depends. Greg's incredibly intelligent. He has his Masters in Chemical Engineering and he loves the maths and sciences. He can figure out machinery and computers and he knows his remodeling stuff. I'm a faster reader, typer, talker and thinker. He listens to NPR, I read news articles. We mostly even each other out, but I would say in general that Greg is smarter.

Who is the most sensitive?
Greg's very loving and caring. I'm not as openly loving - but I'm much more sensitive. I'm sensitive to moods, situations, double meanings, tone of voice, and perceived slights. Sometimes I'm wayyy overly sensitive.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We almost never go out to eat. When we go out for dinner, the place we go most often is the Cheesecake Factory because of their Gorilla Banna drinks and their fire roasted artichokes. But the place we order from most often is Elena's - a little hole in the wall diner up the street from our house. She knows Greg's voice when he calls to make an order and she makes our weekend breakfasts.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
The Dominican Republic.

Who has the craziest exes?
Probably me.

Who has the worst temper?
Definitely me. Greg is nigh unflappable.

Who does the cooking?
Greg. I hate cooking meat. It's freaked me out since I was young. I have no problem EATING meat. Just cooking it. Unless it's a crock pot meal, I develop an uncontrollable and debilitating lethargy in the kitchen.

Who is the neat-freak?
I'm more a neat-freak than him in relation to organization. Whether or not I actually put stuff away - it must have a place to be put if I felt like putting it away. However, Greg is more bothered than me by things like carpets that need to be vacuumed.

Who is more stubborn?
Mmm... probably me again. There are things I'll do and things I won't. Greg's pretty stubborn himself, but he caves before I do.

Who hogs the bed?
I'd say neither of us really hog the bed, but if you wanted to push and ask which one of us is worse... It's me and it has more to do with the covers. I like to be tucked in on both sides. Greg likes to cuddle. I get overheated when I cuddle and turn into a mini super nova. I push away and toss off the covers. Then I get cold and tuck myself in. Then Greg picks his way into the covers because there's not enough sheet to tuck myself in on both sides AND have him be covered, and then he cuddles me. And the cycle continues.

Who wakes up earlier?
Greg wakes up at 5:30 a.m. It is largely a mystery to me what goes on in the time between when Greg get's up and when he wakes me up at 7:00 a.m.

Where was your first date?
Because it was college dating, we never really went on dates. We hung out. Constantly. Sort of the way we do now... but with married people priveleges.

Who is more jealous?
Greg NEVER shows it which drives me nuts because you all know a little jealousy is a little flattering. When I feel jealous, I show it, so again - the answer here is probably me.

How long did it take to get serious?
We were always pretty serious - it's just the way we were together. But at the beginning of our senior year there was a moment when I asked him what he wanted to do after he graduated - where he would apply to grad school and he shrugged and said "I don't know, maybe Buffalo? Maybe Colorado?" and I started to cry. That's about when we both realized things were serious and our plans post-college would include each other.

Who eats more?
Depends on what we're eating. If it's creamed dried beef or chocolate chip pancakes - Me. If it's chips and salsa or anything else - Him.

Who does the laundry?
Greg. The washing machine scares me. I'm not kidding.

Who's better with the computer?
I probably know more computer programs to a more indepth level than Greg. He probably knows more about computer health, updates, and hardware than I do. We can both troubleshoot computer issues equally well.

Who drives when you are together?
Greg drives. I dislike driving, and I like seeing him in control.

If you want to answer these same questions, feel free to do so in the comments or leave me a link to the blog post with your answers. :)

Now I go back to dreading whether or not I did the right thing demanding that I should be held accountable for stuff. A moment of clarity or temporary insanity? Don't answer that.