I used to be Schizophrenic but we're all right now

I can't figure myself out. I keep trying in earnest, and then all of a sudden my inner consciousness goes "talk to the hand" and I end up working against myself. Here are some examples:

Yesterday I stayed home from work to be there for the gas meter man. They were replacing our meter because apparently an 8 million year old meter might produce inaccurate readings - and they benevolently wanted to intervene before any "problems" arise. He was going to get there somewhere between 9:00 and 5:00, so I took the day off and eagerly faced my newest, most ambitious, most practical project. Recently, I came to realize that my craft addiction has serious ramifications when I'm traveling to anywhere. On a not too distant past trip, I found myself overloaded with 2 grocery bags, two tote bags, and a bag of stuffing to facilitate the crafting... on a 3 day trip. That's not healthy people. I either need help to realize that just because I'm leaving the house does not mean my efficiency sky rockets, nor do I need an extra 8th project with me just in case I finish the previous 7 or I need to accept this. You know, at least with drug addiction you just need a syringe or a straw and a baggie of your chosen substance. To get a craft high, Yes, I need needles. But I also need fabric and pins and scissors (at least 3) and bias tape and lace and appliques and patches and stuffing and ribbon and trim and embroidery thread -- and that's just ONE project.

I know my limitations. There is no WAY I'm going to reform and "scale back" what I take with me. Instead, what I can focus on is finding a better way to carry it all. Thus, my new project, my Crafty Intentions bag. It is going to be two feet long, 15 inches tall, 13 inches wide, with pockets for everything I could possibly need including 5 pairs of scissors and pliers and pinking shears... It's going to have an accordion folder for inspiration and notes, a notebook, and a hard case for fragile things. It's going to have 8 clear vinyl zipper bags for 8 individual projects and one large clear vinyl bag for my ipod, speakers, digital camera, cell phone charger and usb drive.

And even whilst I am overjoyed with the idea of this, and I'm at the point where I can actually start sewing things together... I undermine myself with viewings of Godspell and dancing around while listening to Jason Mraz or trying to be ranked #1 out of my friends on facebook's Scramble game (I'm 3rd with a score of 179 and I just have to beat 195, but it's hard man!!!).



Another example, I want to save money, and yet here I am looking at Into the Woods tickets and Etsy products. That's counterproductive isn't it?

I want to get out and meet new people. I mean, I'm friendly. I'm articulate. I'm not stammeringly shy or anything. I'm just stoicly anti-social and the "real world" has afforded me the ability to embrace that anti-social side. Now I'm battling that anti-social tendency and trying to get involved in online forums for the Pittsburgh Craft Collective and the Pittsburgh Etsy Street team. But I don't know what to say! "Hi! I'm Megan! I craft too! Please like me!" seems a little desperate. And I'm too schizophrenic of a crafter to settle into a discussion of what I'm doing right now, and the moment I sit down to write a comment about what supplies I need that I can't find anywhere - my mind goes blank. (There are tons, by the way. For example: It seems completely wrong to me that a store like Joann's or Michael's wouldn't carry a little packet of wooden cones - maybe 2-3 inches high (or even smaller! I'm not that picky!). But no. They have tiny wooden milk bottles, wooden wheels, wooden barrels, wooden thread spools, wooden spheres, wooden cubes.... but NO WOODEN CONES. :LSAIEja;lwijf)

I am also now having trouble motivating myself to visit or comment on blogs. I need a good swift kick in the pants because I honestly do care what you all are doing and thinking and I want to read about it and I want to let you know, personally, that it matters and that you're pretty! But there's some evil sort of sluggishness that comes over my hands and then suddenly I've forgotten what I meant to do until the next time I see that someone has commented here and - OH! that reminds me - !

And the vicious cycle continues.

How is it that I know what I want and yet so effectively prevent it from happening? Hmm. Sounds sort of weirdly Freudian or something...

Anyway. I'll wish you all an early Happy Halloween, and leave you with some additional pictures of brilliant Costumes and pumpkins. Enjoy!