Doula

So, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I'm thinking about hiring a doula.

Maybe I'm too late to the party. It feels like 7 months is too late. Shouldn't I have been thinking about this before? The thing is that until the lady who runs our childbirth class started talking about exactly what a doula does - I hadn't been interested. Our teacher is a doula herself - but she's not on-call. She volunteers at the hospital when she has the time and goes where she's needed for free - so we couldn't hire her for ourselves. When she explained that a doula is there for the ENTIRE labor and delivery - that a doula supports you and your partner, answers questions, and is a good touchstone for the doctor... it started to appeal to me.

I had this touchy-feely idea of a doula. A Doula would pressure me to go without drugs. A Doula would wear only organic cotton and hemp. A Doula would also probably be prohibitively expensive.

I'm not much into the touch-feely stuff.

I'm going to be going through Labor. I'm going to be pushing. I'm going to be tired and probably cranky and probably in pain. If you use flowery language to describe these things, I'm going to resent you and your organic cotton.

The thing is, from reading I've been doing - and the no-nonsense, hysterically blunt teacher from our childbirth class - having this support person appeals more and more and more.

I go to a group of doctors. There are 7 of them. Any one of them could be on call for the birth. I believe there are 2 men and 5 women. I'm not picky about doctors - I never have been. I went to these guys based on the recommendation by my family doctor. So long as they have a degree and a certain semblance of doctor-ish-ness, I'm just going to assume the best and go along with it.

But if I really get down and dirty and examine how I feel about them, I definitely prefer the female doctors in the group (I usually don't have a gender preference). However, there's absolutely no way to know who (of the 7) will be on call at the time I go into labor. Additionally, even though I feel very comfortable with 5 out of 7 doctors in my group, I hardly know any of them. I've seen each one maybe twice in the course of my prenatal care visits. One of them is so cute I want to put her in my pocket, one of them has crazy long unbrushed hair, one of them makes great eye contact when I talk to her... And that's about the extent of our relationship.

And, I know that when the time comes and I'm sweaty and contracting in my hospital room, the doctor will be in and out. He/She will not be a constant companion/consultant. They'll probably be in the process of delivering several other babies and I won't be #1, top of the list all the time.

ALSO, this is our first baby. I know what I know and don't know what I don't know. I know there must be tons that I don't know. And its the little things that bother me. For example, I don't know why I thought this - but I thought that nipples just had one hole - making the boobs kind of like duel super soakers. But at this point in my pregnancy, white dots are starting to appear on the ends of my nipples. And I am a serial picker. If there is something on my skin, I am going to pick at it - which leads to these awkward moments where I'm craned over my boob, picking at tiny white dots and Greg hobbles in, grabs my wrist and says "LEAVE THAT ALONE FOR GOODNESS SAKES".

It's my understanding that for a price somewhere between free and $1000, we could hire a Doula to come with us to the hospital, be there through the entire labor and deliver, and stay till after the first successful breastfeeding latch. She would be able to answer our questions - any questions - during the whole process. She'd be the calm pep-squad pillar in the room, a constant and knowledgeable presence. Her goals would be our goals (which are pretty much a healthy baby with as little pain as possible). She'd support Greg as well as myself - keeping him involved, helping him to know what I need help with next. The doctor - whatever doctor was on call - would be able to talk to her about what was going on with me as he/she came in and out. Supposedly Doulas can help with anything from changing the playlist, to getting your partner some coffee, to refilling the ice chips, to advocating on your behalf to get the anesthesiologist in there RIGHT NOW.

Most importantly, I imagine I would feel less helpless and less floundering. Less scared.

The thing is, we don't really have money to throw around right now. We certainly don't have $1000 to just pay somebody to hold my hand when admittedly, Greg does a fine job. But, if we could find one for the lower range that I clicked with and respected as much as our birthing class teacher, I think it might be worth it.

Has anybody else used a doula? Was it worth it?